LAILA Zulkaphil - A Mongolian Polyglot Who Raised $55 Million With Her Team To Help Syrian Refugees
Interviewed by Mungun Altangerel. Photographed by Suniko.
Full name: LAILA ZULKAPHIL
Hobby Alumni: 2005
Further Education: Bachelor - Political Science and International Relations - American University in Bulgaria; Master - Conflict Resolution – Georgetown University
Current Workplace: Regional Grants Management Coordinator – Danish Refugee Council
Languages: Mongolian, English, Russian and Kazakh. Turkish at intermediate level. Studied French, Arabic, Bosnian and Bulgarian before, but can not speak them.
Countries Lived In: Mongolia, Bulgaria, USA, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kyrgyzstan, Jordan, Turkey
Frequented Website: BBC.com, Facebook.com
App To Recommend: Pocket (read your news offline later)
Book To Recommend: Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
AT HOBBY SCHOOL
1. How many years have you studied at Hobby School?
Two and a half years. Every year Hobby School (“Hobby”) organized an English Olympiad among students in Ulaanbaatar and the winner would win a full scholarship to study at Hobby school till you graduate. So I got the scholarship, joined the school from the second semester of my 8th grade and studied at Hobby until my graduation. To this date, I am still grateful and happy for this opportunity.
2. Where have you studied before Hobby?
Public school #33, named after the city of Moscow.
3. How would you describe the difference between studying at public school #33 and private Hobby School? How do you remember your first day at new school?
It was very challenging. Back in public school, we would only have 3-4 hours’ of English language class. Thanks to my interest in English, I was reading and studying a lot outside the school curriculum. My English was limited though. So coming to Hobby and studying Physics, Chemistry, Literature, Math and many other subjects in English was a completely different experience. When I saw those big American textbooks, I was quite intimidated. But by the time I was in 9th grade, I was well adjusted.
Venue: Coffee Planet at Choijin Suites, Central Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia
4. According to the people who knew you in high school, you were a straight-A student. How did you become a straight-A student?
By studying a lot. I was constantly doing my homework and studying for tests. Also, I spent a lot of time in the Open Society Foundation’s library in Mongolia. They had a beautiful library with many English books and academic resources for TOEFL and SAT exam preparations. Sometimes I would study enough to get an A, but would still keep studying because I wanted to learn more.
5. Anything you would do differently if you went back to high school again?
In hindsight, I actually regret spending so much time studying. I should have spent more time socializing with my friends and other kids. I should have built more and closer relationships.
6. There must have been subjects you weren’t particularly fond of in high school?
Physical education class. It felt like a burden to exercise for 40 minutes. Although now I do understand the value of working out. Maybe the school should have emphasized and explained more about the importance of being physically active to us.
7. Any exercise that you do now regularly that you would recommend?
Well, I just go to the gym a couple of times a week and run. I do some core strengthening exercises to alleviate my lower-back pressure because I sit a lot at work. You can find easy and simple core strengthening 5 minute exercises on Youtube.
8. What influenced your decision to choose the American University in Bulgaria for you undergraduate education?
I’ve learnt that Open Society Foundation organizes a yearly competition of which the prizes are full and partial scholarships at American University in Bulgaria (“AUBG”). That’s how I’ve learnt of AUBG and thought it was a great opportunity to get an American diploma and a Bulgarian diploma. As Bulgaria joined the European Union (“EU”) soon, it also meant that my diploma would be accepted everywhere in the EU. I liked the good things I’ve heard about AUBG as well as the opportunity for a double diploma and decided to join the competition. I got a full scholarship and was invited to study there.
9. What was Bulgaria like around 2005?
When I first became a student at AUBG, the country was in process of joining the European Union. In 2007, along with Romania, Bulgaria joined the EU amidst great celebrations within the country. I remember large crowds at the central square, celebrating the event. It was exciting to be part of such a historic moment.
10. What other options you had besides the AUBG?
I won the first place in a nationwide English Olympiad and I was invited to study at any public state university in Mongolia. So I could have chosen National University of Mongolia or any other state university. But I was more interested in going abroad to expand my horizon and had already set my eyes on AUBG.
11. What were your thoughts when choosing a graduate school?
When it was time to study for my master’s degree, I was more adventurous and I applied to many grad schools. I received full scholarships from Georgetown University, University of Notre Dame and Central European University; partial scholarships from American University in Washington D.C, University of San Diego; and I was also accepted to Johns Hopkins University, but with no scholarships. I had many options.
12. So why did you choose Georgetown University?
For a couple of reasons. It was known as one of the best universities for people wanting to pursue career in international affairs or development studies, which were what I was interested in. Also, it was situated in Washington D.C, which meant that I could do internships, have a good networking and build connections while studying there - all of which were proved to be very important later in my career. It was a good university and I am still very happy with my choice of studying there.
13. Many of the schools you have applied to have been in the United States. What would you say were your reasons for choosing schools in western countries?
I don’t think I was particularly aiming for Europe or the United States. For my graduate programme, I was interested in conflict resolution and peace studies, which was a relatively new field. Many universities from Asia or other regions did not really offer the programmes in it. So the few universities which offered it happened to be in the United States.
CAREER
14. What was your first ever paying job?
After finishing my freshman year in college, I came back to Mongolia for the summer and taught English in one of the language centers. The pay was miserable, I think I was paid 120’000 tugriks per month. But I was only 17 or 18 back then, and it was a good opportunity. Also I worked as a front desk assistant at the university dormitory for a few dollars an hour.
15. Where do you work now?
For the past 2 years, I have been working as a Grants manager at Relief International in Turkey. I am on vacation in Mongolia at the moment. My next job will be at Danish Refugee Council where I will be working as a Regional Grants Management Coordinator, which is slightly different as it is a regional job based in Amman, Jordan, and I will be managing grants implemented in six countries: Iraq, Yemen, Syria, Jordan, Turkey and Lebanon. So I will be travelling a lot, managing grants, developing proposals to receive funding for new projects and ensuring compliance with donors’ rules and regulations.
16. So what does a Grants Manager do?
One of the main responsibilities of a Grants Manager is to find new funding opportunities. When you are implementing humanitarian assistance programs, you are funded by donor institutions such as European Union, United Nations agencies, foundations and corporations. As a Grants Manager, you usually write proposals, cultivate donors and build relationships to get funding from them.
17. How does one measure a Grants Manager’s work?
During my 2 years as a Grants Manager in Relief International, I helped raise about 55 million dollars. This translated into dozens of projects to help people displaced by war. I think it’s a rewarding job, because you can see real impact.
18. Working in those countries with political instability and active military conflicts, how does one go about making a lasting difference?
My work is on the humanitarian side of the issue rather than the political and developmental one. So in the humanitarian sector, the priority is to meet the urgent needs of people affected by emergencies, such as by providing food, shelter and medical help. But there is no clear line between the humanitarian and development sectors, because even when you are providing humanitarian aid, you still need to think about sustainability and long-term development.
19. Your work must require you to work with politicians and government agents. How do you succeed in staying neutral and professional?
There are humanitarian guidelines for neutrality and impartiality. So it is very important for us not to takes sides or associate with any groups or parties. We need to help everybody disregarding their race, gender, political opinions and other backgrounds.
20. What is a common misconception about your work?
Some people don’t get that it’s a “real job”. A few years ago, I was in a networking event in Ulaanbaatar with many professionals with corporate jobs. Other young people in mining companies, banks and audit firms were asking me “When are you going to get a real job?” I had to explain that it is a real job with salaries and benefits. I even have a good health insurance. I think, it is a common misconception that humanitarian jobs are mostly volunteering one with no salaries. There are varying companies with different benefits and pays, but I want to say to young people that humanitarian sector is something you should look into and explore it as a real option.
21. What are some of the biggest challenges you face as a Grants Manager?
Raising money is not easy. But I think the greatest challenges are the emotional side of working in the humanitarian sector. Although you are mostly working from office, you still need to get out and talk to the beneficiaries of the projects. You see people who lost everything, their homes, their family, their arms and legs when their houses blew up in an airstrike. You talk to them and hear their stories. You have to be strong so that these stories would not shake you to the core and not mix personal feelings with professional work.
22. Any stories you would like to share from one of your field trips?
There is one from the early years of my career. In 2010, I was in Bosnia on a 3 month fellowship, mainly working with the survivors of the Srebrenica massacre. There was a woman who lost her father, husband, brother and son, all of them in an ethnic cleansing. Literally, she was left with no male relative and it was a village of mostly women, trying to make ends meet. In her village, I saw the mass grave where those who lost their lives in the massacre were buried and I talked with her. Coming back from these field assignments, sometimes I would come home and cry my eyes out at the cruelty and injustice of life. I was even having nightmares.
23. How did those feelings affect you?
In time, I learned to be stronger. Now when I see such things, I try to find the positive in it – although such horrible things do happen in life, the survivors are often incredibly resilient people. They learn new skills, find new jobs and support their children. In Turkey, it was amazing to see how Syrian refugees are learning a new language and building new lives. Despite all the horror and the hardship of the war, they still have smiles on their faces. So now, I try to see the positive and try to learn from them.
24. What would you like to do in 5 years?
I have been working to solve problems in foreign countries. In 5 years, I would really like to do something for my country Mongolia and my husband’s country Kyrgyzstan.
PERSONAL
25. You have learnt many languages!
Yes! I really like learning languages, as I see them as windows to other cultures. In my opinion, if you wish to understand a country or a people you need to understand their language and communicate in their own native language. I think this is the best communication channel, you just learn so much!
26. Which one is your favorite?
Difficult to answer as all languages have their unique flavor. There is nothing like your native tongue, Mongolian. And I really like the sound of Turkish. During my 2 years in Turkey, I picked up the language so fast, because I thought it sounded so beautiful. I also like English quite a lot, because it gives you so many opportunities. All the interesting books and all the great websites are in English. I don’t think any other language can compete with English in practicality and functionality.
27. Amman, the capital city of Jordan, where you worked and lived for a year, is not a popular destination among Mongolians. How is life over there?
Yes, I was working as a Grants Manager at International Rescue Committee in Amman, Jordan. Jordan is a very interesting country. Prior to being there, I had some misconceptions such as: “maybe it would be very conservative”, “the women’s faces would be covered”, “the men would be patriarchal and traditional”…etc. I had all these stereotypes in my mind. And then I was completely surprised by how western the country was. Almost everyone spoke very good English and you would see all the fast food chains and coffee shops. People were especially progressive and liberal minded in the capital city of Amman. Maybe the remote areas are different, but I had no problem adjusting to and living there.
28. You must have really enjoyed your time there!
I will be returning there for at least another year with my next job. It is a beautiful country with modern capital, ancient cities, deserts and the Dead Sea! Which reminds me, any of the Hobby alumni are welcome to come and visit - it’s an open invitation!
29. It is refreshing to hear different things about the Middle East other than the conflicts shown in the news. But how did your family feel when you first went to work over there?
In the beginning, they were not supportive. They wanted me to come back to Mongolia, find a regular 9 to 5 job, and just be a normal kid. But that was not what I wanted. I wanted to do something useful, something meaningful. I wanted to help disadvantaged people. Of course there are people to be helped in Mongolia too, but I was particularly interested in the refugee crisis and the humanitarian side of things. In time my parents understood my passion, and now they are quite supportive, although they express their concern when I have to go to more dangerous places.
30. So coming back, what did you miss the most about being here in Mongolia?
My family. This is probably the longest I have been home - a month. For a long time, I was jumping from one assignment to the next with no time off at all. Most of my visits were maybe 7-10 days. I am spending quality time with my family and connecting with my parents and my brother. When you are busy all the time, you do not realize how much you miss your family.
31. From your humanitarian work and your experiences in unstable regions such as the Balkans and the Middle East, you must have seen how things could go so wrong when ethnic tensions were at extreme. As a Kazakh, have you experienced any discrimination in Mongolia? How would you describe the relation between Khalkh Mongolians and Kazakh Mongolians?
Personally, I have not faced any discrimination or noticed any tensions in Mongolia. I think the Kazakh minority in Mongolia is very lucky and privileged. I see Kazakh people in all parts of society including politics and academia. We have equal opportunities as any other Mongolian ethnic group.
32. You have spent some time working in Kyrgyzstan as well, how did it go?
The country is quite close to my heart. I have spent about 4 years working there. I worked as a Reporting Trainee at ACTED in Osh and also as a Donor Relations Officer at University of Central Asia in Bishkek. I met my husband in Kyrgyzstan too! I married a Kyrgyz man.
33. How did you overcome the opposition of your family for marrying internationally?
My parents were a little hesitant at first, because they had not met my fiancé face to face. After inviting him to Mongolia and spending time together with my family, my parents saw that he was a kind, intelligent and good person. I think after finally meeting him, there was no opposition.
34. What qualities of your husband do you like the most?
He supports me in everything that I do both in my life and career. He brings the best out of me and encourages me to be a better person.
TRIVIA
35. Did you or do you have any mentors?
I did not and this is something I regret. Although I met many amazing and inspiring people in my line of work, I always kept my relations strictly professional and focused on the task at hand, and did not use the opportunities to build more meaningful relationships with them. In the future, I intend to rectify this.
36. Life advice that had helped you a lot?
You do not have to be perfect. Back in school, I was a perfectionist who always tried to do everything complete with no mistake. Although it provided good results there, in real life job, it is not a good idea. Because if you just keep your head down and work really hard – you cannot just expect people to notice your hard work and reward you. People just don’t come and offer you promotion or new opportunities. You need to be more active, more assertive and ask for what you want. Perfection is not the best way, you don’t need to go above and beyond trying to polish things up. And learn to market and sell yourself.
37. A personal advice that you would like to extend?
Life is too short to please other people and live someone else’s dream. So do what is most meaningful and fulfilling for you. Get out of your comfort zone and put yourself into difficult situations, because that is when you understand who you are and what you are capable of.
38. What are your good habits?
I’m disciplined. When I start something, I always see the end of it. Even when I’m feeling lazy, I don’t let myself procrastinate. This is a good habit I had since childhood.
39. What of your bad habits?
I’ve been realizing more and more that I’m uncomfortable with being comfortable. When I find a job to be easy and life to be simple, alarms go off in my mind. I want myself to get out of my comfort zone and challenge myself. Although this can be a good, it is a bad habit in a way that I’m constantly looking for a change.
40. A funny story or a humorous incident at work?
In some places where the security situation is bad, you’re supposed to live in a shared housing with other colleagues. At ACTED, a French NGO, in Kyrgyzstan I had to live with 10 other colleagues. We had our individual rooms, but we ate meals together and shared bathrooms. Sometimes in the morning I would go to the bathroom half asleep and encounter colleagues. One time my boss came out half naked fresh from a shower. I was unable to look at him and embarrassedly ran to my bedroom.
41. If you could pass 1 law globally, what would it be?
I want to make it a requirement that all countries must allow refugees to work. For years I have been working with refugees, and I have learnt that it is important for them to be able to provide for themselves and alleviate the shock of displacement and the conflict they have experienced. Some countries, for example Turkey is flexible about refugees working, while others such as Jordan and Lebanon don’t allow it. That’s how many people end up vulnerable with informal jobs and black markets where they have no official protection and fall victim to further exploitation. So, a universal law where refugees could work would be amazing.
42. If you could have dinner with anyone dead or alive, who would it be?
Right now, I would say Michelle Obama. Because I’m reading her book “Becoming”. She is inspiring yet very relatable.
43. What books have benefited you greatly and influenced your worldview?
Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg
This was a big eye opener for me. From this book, I learned how to be confident, assertive and ask for what I want in life. This book has received some criticism in recent years from public figures where Michelle Obama even speaking out about how many other challenges women face at workplace. My takeaway from the book was that by learning to be more confident and assertive women can get something they want from life. I have implemented some of the principles and I have seen concrete results!
The Forty Rules of Love by Elif Shafak
Coming from a Turkish author, this book tells 2 parallel stories: One about an American woman stuck in an unhappy marriage, the other, a 13th century Sufi poet. This book talks about deeper love for humanity, rather than the regular romantic affection that we usually think of as love. This book was an enlightening experience for me. I recommend other books from the same author too, she is full of wisdom and life lessons. A lesson from the book is that don’t worry when something bad happens, because something better is waiting for you. It means that whenever you have a failure it’s a course correction of life to lead you to something good. It helps you in difficult times in your life and career.
44. Who would you recommend for Hobby Alumni to interview next?
There are so many brilliant minds and amazing people who have graduated from Hobby! I support the previous interviewees’ recommendation on Mergen who works at Facebook and Dulguun who is a scientist based in New York, USA. In addition, I would like to recommend my classmate Onon Bayasgalan. I recommend her because she is one of the few graduates of Hobby who work in the non-profit sector. She is doing an amazing job at Wildlife Conservation Society in Mongolia and is quite into sustainable development and environmental preservation. Onon received her bachelor’s degree from Whitman College and master’s degree from Yale University.
“...It is a common misconception that humanitarian jobs are mostly volunteering one with no salaries. There are varying companies with different benefits and pays, but I want to say to young people that humanitarian sector is something you should look into and explore it as a real option.”